So is this really it?

You’re done. You’re unhappy with life. You feel a constant emptiness. You have no hope in anyone. You have no hope period. You see no light at the end of the tunnel. You see no light at all.

Well…If you’re looking for a sign not to do this, here it is.

You’re too important and special to others to feel this way. They just have not told you in awhile. I’m sorry about that! Life is crazy, but there is no excuse. On behalf of them, let me tell you. You light up their world. You bring life to the party when you enter a boring room.

Not one moment of your life has EVER been wasted. And yes, if your presence was not felt on this earth, everyone would notice.

DO NOT let your imaginations of what you think others have concluded about you dictate your will to live. Your imaginations are the poison to ruin every good thing in your life. They are as they are called, imaginations. Meaning, NOT TRUTH.

I’m so sorry about the way “they” spew “their” ruthless comments, stuck-up smirks, horrible way “they” treat you, and I’m sorry that you have been hurt one too many times. I can’t promise you that it will get better. For all I know, it might get worse. I want you to know that if you stick it out and cling to this magnificent hope I’m about to fill you in on, you are in for the most beautiful breakthroughs you could ever dream of. I PROMISE.

First off, where is your faith? You can’t sit there saying you have none. You have faith in the chair you’re on to keep you up. What happens after that? You stand up. Look, the floor held you up too. You may go to your bed in your room or couch near a TV. Your mind didn’t have to think about any of these things to happen, your blind faith in them just knew that they would all work in your favor. See, you have faith. 😉

Blind faith is a weird thing. It’s also the funny feeling you get in your stomach when you know you’re being watched, or when you know somethings not right. Blind faith is called by a different name to most people. It’s been called your conscience, intuition, weird feeling. I call it the Holy Spirit.

“Sierra, you’re weird and I’m done reading this.”

Ok. Be done reading. You know what, as a matter of fact. Disregard everything I’ve said previously and keep going. You’ll end up happy, right? And I didn’t say Joyful on purpose. Joyfulness is a gift from God and you will never feel it until you surrender all to him. It’s not fleeting like happiness and sticks around even through the hard times!

Lets go back to my original thought though.

What would happen after you “did it”?

Have you thought about that at all? How much your mom would cry in your empty room on your still un-made bed? How empty your father would feel providing for your family with the biggest whole inside his heart? How would your grandparents would feel as they watched strangers lower your casket into the ground, knowing that they should’ve gone first?  How mad your siblings would be at you for ruining their life forever because you have now provided them with a constant sadness in their home, their supposed to be safe place, that will never leave. Your friends, sitting there thinking about all the times they wished they could have seen the signs.

So…

 

If you do this, your life WILL be defined by your death.

My friend, that is so selfish. You are taking a cheap way out and leaving everyone in the wake of sadness to feel it more than you ever did.

Now for a true message of this blog, let me finally tell you in on this “hope” I’m talking about:

THE ONLY DEATH THAT SHOULD DEFINE YOUR LIFE IS JESUS CHRIST’S.

He bled for you and took on death, hell and the grave so you could live this life free from sin, if you choose.

You may say “But Sierra, I’ve made so many mistakes.”

I challenge you to read about his death. It’s hard to read when you actually understand how personally connected you are to it. Would you even think about doing this if you actually knew the extent of the grace in what Jesus did for you that day? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

He died for YOU. YOU were on his mind. The only different between him and you walking into your deaths is, his was the most SELFLESS act in all of the world. He is the definition of innocence. The moment the died, every sin that you or I have ever committed came upon him and he was seen as unclean. God turned his head from him, Jesus, his ONLY son; and gazed upon all of humanity, the guilty ones, with love. That’s this scandalous grace. We unworthy and him so perfect in every way trade places in a flash and we get rewarded beyond imagination.

Our hope should for ever be in Jesus. I for one put all my hope and trust into him because at any moment the Bible says he could have called down tens-of-thousdands of angels to rescue him. He didn’t. Why? Because you’re that special to him. He knew, that without his death, there would be no life for you or I.

The act of love on that day has rippled through thousands of years into today’s time and is stilled talked about constantly all over the world. He was know for giving up his life for us.

Do you want to be known for giving up your life for yourself? I mean at the end of the day it’s entirely up to you how you live your life, but please take a second look around you before you do. Look at the people whom you do life with. The faces you see on a regular basis at the grocery store or even the gym. The little people who look up to you and think the world of you. The beautiful life you could have if you choose to live.

Can you be ok with not knowing the future? Can you be ok with giveing it over to God, so that he can do more with you than you ever could on your own?

Friend I want you to know some things; storms will come again. Arguments will be had with loved ones. Heart break will work its way into the scene. Finances will fall apart, life may even crumble again, and people will always break their promises once in a while. But God, he will never leave you. Never forsake you. Never “not have time for you”. Never take you somewhere to abandon you. He will remind you of your worth. Tell you are are worthy of his love. Fill every hole in your heart with his love and mercy until it’s overflowing onto others.

When you take refuge in Jesus Christ, there is no safer place to be.

Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Say no to fear and anguish. Say yes to a life worthy of living.

I know you can do it!!

I believe in you and I love you friend!!

-Sierra                                                  #makingJesusfamous

Inspiration for this post comes from the original song by the artist called “Logic”.

Nothing about this post is to set “Logic” as an example worthy figure for young teens. Please read the lyrics below. They are powerful and helped me to better understand what the frame of mind is when someone is debating suicide.

If you find that you are, else message me on Instagram or twitter @iamsierrabixler. I would love to get you in touch with a trustworthy person that can help you through this hard time. I love you, I’m for you…. But just remember that Jesus is too, but 100 million times more. You got this friend!!!

Pre-Chorus: Logic]
I’ve been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine
Who can relate?
I’ve been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine

[Chorus: Logic]
I don’t wanna be alive
I don’t wanna be alive
I just wanna die today
I just wanna die
I don’t wanna be alive
I don’t wanna be alive
I just wanna die
And let me tell you why

[Verse 1: Logic]
All this other *stuff* I’m talkin’ ’bout they think they know it
I’ve been praying for somebody to save me, no one’s heroic
And my life don’t even matter
I know it I know it I know I’m hurting deep down but can’t show it
I never had a place to call my own
I never had a home
Ain’t nobody callin’ my phone
Where you been? Where you at? What’s on your mind?
They say every life precious but nobody care about mine

[Pre-Chorus: Logic]
I’ve been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine
Who can relate?
I’ve been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine

[Chorus: Logic]
I want you to be alive
I want you to be alive
You don’t gotta die today
You don’t gotta die
I want you to be alive
I want you to be alive
You don’t gotta die
Now lemme tell you why

[Verse 2: Alessia Cara]
It’s the very first breath
When your head’s been drowning underwater
And it’s the lightness in the air                                                                                                                       –                                                                                                                                                                          –
It’s holding on, though the road’s long
And seeing light in the darkest things
And when you stare at your reflection
Finally knowing who it is
I know that you’ll thank God you did

[Verse 3: Logic]
I know where you been, where you are, where you goin’
I know you’re the reason I believe in life
What’s the day without a little night?
I’m just tryna shed a little light
It can be hard
It can be so hard
But you gotta live right now
You got everything to give right now

[Pre-Chorus: Logic]
I’ve been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine
Who can relate?
I’ve been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine

[Chorus: Logic]
I finally wanna be alive
I finally wanna be alive
I don’t wanna die today
I don’t wanna die
I finally wanna be alive
I finally wanna be alive
I don’t wanna die
I don’t wanna die

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